So, clearly you misunderstand the concepts of zombies. Zombies do not surf the web looking for zombie on zombie porn. Neither do they google zombie celebrities nor email zombie coworkers about their zombie bosses having their zombie heads shoved up their undead, zombie asses. Zombies eat people. Specifically, brains. While scientists are still unclear as to why zombies would exert such rage and brain eating against their formr species, zombie scientists offer this explanation.
He then proceeded to eat someone. Umm... you know. That one guy. Yeah, him.
P.S. Would a Zombie Jesus be able to turn water into braaaaaains?
Jesus is totally a Zombie, died on a big stick an lot. Resurrected himself a few days later and went on a zombie rampage! That last bit was omitted from the final version bible as they felt the audience wouldn't "connect" with the character