Joe Nobbe: The Tides of Time

This strip was prompted by a real-life controversy that we’re currently embroiled in with some tree-hugging zealots that think we somehow promote cruelty towards dolphins. These bastardly hookers even started a Facebook petetion, so you know they mean business. I just feel bad for my children and their children’s children (but not my children’s children. Those losers can go screw) that they have to grow up in a society that discourages gently coerced love between humanity and our cousins from the sea.

What little negative feelings I’ve had as a result of exposure to dolphins has been a result of playing Ecco: Defender of the Future for the Dreamcast. I played quite a bit of the old Ecco games on Game Gear when I was a kid, and while they were pretty challenging games, nothing could prepare me for the rage inducing stupidity of Defender of the Future. The game is hard, yes. Very hard. You spend hours searching for tiny little power ups that make your weakling little dolphin just a little bit stronger, and then halfway through the game they take everything away. Also, I remember a part where I was trying to get a sea turtle to do my bidding, but it’s feeble AI couldn’t grasp the complicated machinations of my plans. Also, it has the stupidest subtitle ever. Here we have a game about a dolphin, who somehow is the “Defender of the Future”. Think about that for a minute and tell me that that isn’t completely idiotic.

So, that’s my review for Ecco: Defender of the Future. Thank you for visiting Shyeah, your number one source for timely reviews of mammal simulators. Come back soon to read my stirring summation of “Rocky Rodent” for Super Nintendo.

posted by Brad-Shyeah @ January 7th, 2010, 7:05 pm  |  0 comments

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